11.8.07
hey everyone..
real sorry this place has been all cobwebs and stuff for ages.
just a brief update of what has been happening this few months (kinda good for me to reflect and view in retrospect too):
I HAVE.........
1)Completed my A-levels (GOOD RIDDANCE!)
2)been accepted into NUS
3)shaved bald 3 times in seven weeks (bloody life)
4)repaired tanks for the last 4 months
5)been nothing but melancholic.
its not that i'm complaining bout my fate in life regarding my future. its just that everytime i pull on green clothes, i just get so jaded.
i feel like a misfit in my current section. and i just feel awkward around this one guy. its been so long since i've felt less of myself, inferior, just so lousy bout myself. i'm not intimidated by him. i know he doesn't like me and thats totally fine. but i've never insulted or stepped on his toes, so why does he have to hate me? friends around me tell me he doesnt really have a reason and that just makes it all harsher to take in. At first, when i was all oblivious to it, i felt ok, comfortable, in the drving seat, in control of my life. But Knowledge here seems to have crippled me. why? i am so meek. but i really dont want to be. it hurts too much.
my unit posting order will come on the 27th august. really hope i dont have him around in my section.. want to be comfortable and all again. want my other army friends who have been separated from me back again. i hate all this politicking around. its just ridiculous and farcical. felt so much more relieved when i met up with michael and he assured me that all was well and all that encouragement that i can ride this storm. Thanks buddy for being there, really appreciate that alot.
and all you friends out there in the civilian world, hope to hear a shoutout from you soon.. life can be really sad in the lowly gallows of the GREEN PRISON without all of you around.
SHOUTOUT!: to everyone who has crossed my path in life at one point another, thank you for your smiles. i keep them all in a treasure box deep within.....
23:40
it's an untitled art.